The Reason of Your Endless Sorrow
by DreamyPeas23
Summary: The sub blew up. Wrote before watching the episode.
1. Call Your Name

Takes place in Season 6 after the Sub blew up (but I crote it before watching the episode)

Enjoy & Review Please :)

* * *

His clothes were heavy, wet. His eyes were closed. He was unable to make a move, his muscles were sore, and by miracle his fingers were holding onto a piece of metal. He tasted blood in his throat. He smelt salt, blood and fire all around. Tired, he knew he could let the cold piece of metal go at any moment. Hurt, he knew he could drown and let himself fall into the deep ocean.

His mind was blurry; he couldn't remember what happened, not in order… A bomb, everybody in the submarine. It exploded. Everybody… Her… For a moment he hoped she hadn't been inside, but she had been, because they went together. He remembered her holding his hand while they were walking to the submarine. She was smiling, relieved, happy to go home. To have a chance to go home. But the chance blew up, like others did before.

"Kate…" He whispered like a breath in the wind. It could barely be heard. He just needed to say her name, like another piece of metal to hold on. He fought to open his eyes. Waves were low; there were pieces of the sub floating everywhere. Maybe they were all dead by now. Maybe she was in the water with no life. And he couldn't help her, he was not strong enough. His eyes began to close again because of tiredness. He closed his fingers around the piece of metal even more, breathing her name once again.

* * *

She felt heavy, she felt dirty and dizzy. It smelt salty sand. She raised her hand to her face and rubbed her eyes, rolling onto her back. She heard Sun talking to Jin farther, she turned her head slowly and saw Jack, unconscious onto the beach, face down in the sand. She stood up slowly and heard two pieces of metal banged with crash while they arrived on the beach. She stumbled near of Jack's body, and made him roll onto his back. He moved his head a little and mumbled something. She stood up again and looked around. Her heart ached. She knew this pain; she had felt it three years ago when he jumped. This feeling to be alone once again, to have lost something once again and to not know where it could be and if she could find it someday. She knew she couldn't face it again. No she couldn't. She wouldn't have the strength to fight and hold on to life if she had no hope he was still alive. She walked onto the beach searching when she saw a piece of metal covering someone. She accelerated her pace and pushed the heavy piece aside. Her heart ached once more discovering Miles's body and not the one she was looking for.

"James…" She whispered letting herself fall onto the hot sand, tired.

The night was coming. Everybody was around a fire to warm them up. She stayed far. She wanted to blame everyone for her loss. She wanted to blame Jack for having brought this bomb in the sub. Yeah he didn't know, but it had blown up their plan. Sawyer's plan. She felt lonely as she'd never been. Even during those three past years. Now, he wouldn't come back. He was lost in the ocean. Maybe it was better that way, he wasn't lost anymore in this damn place. She wanted to blame everyone for stupid reasons and she wanted to blame him for leaving her again. And she blamed herself… for now having confess her true feelings. And now it was too late. She contained her tears. If she wept now, she would weep forever. Her heart ached more than before. Her heart began to understand it would never be loved again. He was the cause of her sorrow, but he was the man of her love.

A tear rolled down along her cheek how she murmured his name in the cold of the night, like a pray to the Island, and let him come back.

* * *

He had found the strength to go up on his metal little raft; he was laid on the cool metal and let himself carry by the current. His eyes blinked sometimes, and he thought he'd seen a fire, some kind of red light. But it was so blurry and he knew his mind was not going well. He thought he fell asleep, because when he blinked again, the piece of metal wasn't moving anymore. It was on shore. He thought he heard his name. He heard it again and recognized the voice which was calling him.

"Kate…" He breathed. He felt a familiar touch on his face, caressing his cheek; he felt a familiar breath on his forehead while she murmured words he didn't understand. She was there. She was alive. And he asked a final question to the cause of his sorrow and the love of his life, before falling asleep.

"Are we safe?"


	2. Someone To Watch Over Me

Four days. Four days had spent. Not a move, not a word. In fact she didn't even see him. She did whatever except to go visiting him; she went wherever except to him. It was not because she didn't want. She just couldn't.  
She had just left the camp; she had felt someone watching over her. She didn't want him to watch over her. It was not his business. She just wanted to be alone, forget and forgive… She left ignoring him. She walked with no goal, except being far away for a while. All of a sudden, she realized where she was hearing the sound of water. She drew aside some branches and found out the place that they had discovered three years ago. It was still beautiful but something was missing. She sighed and went to sit on a rock near the water. It had been here that they shared their first… well maybe second complicity moment, playing like kids in the lake, jumping from the waterfall. They sure did a connection at that moment. She smiled, remembering. But remember didn't help her to feel better. There were so many moments, so many promises, which disappeared in a blink of an eye. He told her he would keep her safe, when did he? He told her they were going home, but they were still there, on this island. It was not home. It was far away from home. She realized she was blaming him once again whereas she was the one to blame, for believing him, for trusting him.  
"Thinking too much hurts."  
Kate turned her head and saw Hurley, standing at the bushes. His hands were behind him like a child who just did a stupid thing.  
"You followed me…"  
"I have to keep an eye on you while he's asleep. He won't be happy if I didn't."  
"Whatever, Hugo."  
"Believe me, he will kick my ass, if when he wakes up, he knows I didn't take care of you. And saying the truth... We both know you didn't want Jack to take care of you, right?"  
She nodded and lowered her eyes.  
"How is he?"  
"Maybe you should judge by yourself."  
"No, I can't." she answered shaking her head slowly.  
He shrugged coming to sit in front of her.  
"You can, but you're too scared."  
"I'm not scared." She jerked.  
"Oh, okay!"  
They remained in the silence of nature for a while, until Kate broke it.  
"I used to dream when we were off the island…"  
Hugo looked at her, concerned.  
"We were here or sometimes in an unknown country. Sometimes we were just walking or we were playing like stupid kids. Sometimes it rained. Sometimes the sun was so high. It was so real. I could feel him, touch him but something woke me up and… it was gone. Everything was gone… He was gone, once again."  
"He's not going to leave, Kate."  
"How do you know?"  
"He's going to wake up and you will both leave this place."  
"I'm not so sure."  
Hurley nodded. "Listen, I know I'm a little bit crazy… but, you should trust me. You should trust him and let your heart believe you have a chance."  
Kate looked up at her friend. "Thank you Hugo." She stood up and bent over to put a kiss on his cheek. Without any words she left. Hurley stood up and turned his head to his left.  
"Well… I did it. Do you think she will go to see him? – Yeah I know… - Thank you I know I did a great job." He smiled and returned to the camp.

* * *

Kate walked back to the camp and met Jack's eyes. She breathed deeply and carried on her way to the tent. She came in silently. Her heart ached seeing him, lie down, and pale. She hesitated to make a U-turn and not turning back but she breathed deeply again and sit next to him.  
"Hey yourself."  
No answer. Four days he was unconscious, how could she hope we could answer her?  
"Maybe you should wake up… we could talk… I'm not really interested in having a one-way conversation… I look crazy."  
No move. She lowered her eyes. "James… Please… Just open your eyes now. It's been too long. I'm turning on this island like a lion in his cage and I don't know what to do, what to say… I've the feeling it will be the end soon, that's what you said no? Which end? The end of you? The end of us? The end of what? And you told me you'll keep me safe… how can you if you are in a coma? I'm alone and I don't feel safe right now. You told me we would get off of this island. We are not home James, we're still here, in hell. So come on! Wake up and make your promises a reality for once in your life!"  
She contained her tears, but all her body shivered.  
"I kept mine when you asked me to take care of your daughter. You said 'just do it' and I did it. Do you need another one? Do you need another promise? I'm going to make you one last promise and I'll keep it again. But I warn you, it's the last one. It will be the last one until you keep your promises." She bent over and murmured some words in his ear. While she sat up, her cheek brushed his unshaved jaw and she put a kiss on it.  
"James, wake up."  
She took his hand in hers and held it tight.  
"James, please. Just wake up now. I won't be able to carry on without you. I already tried. I tried to forget you, I tried to forget what happened between us during 3 years but I can't. I just can't because I loved every second of it. I don't know what I would have done or say or feel if Locke had told me you were dead… I came for Claire, to bring Aaron's mother home, but I also came for you, James. That's it. I came for you. I want you to know that… that… I…"  
Her sight was blurry, tears coming up and her heart ached like never. "Love you…" She whispered in a breath.  
"Hmm that was the most beautiful love declaration I've ever heard." A hoarse voice said. At first Kate believed it was her mind, which was hearing things, but when she wiped her eyes and looked down she saw him, half-awake.  
"Sawyer…"  
"Hey yourself."  
"You were…"  
He smiled faintly and coughed. "Since the 'I'll keep you safe' thing."  
"You sonofabitch."  
"Hey Freckles, don't be so harsh."  
She shook her and realized she was still holding his hand. She let it go but he caught her hand up, like he was still in a good shape, like if nothing happened.  
"It's not everyday you open your heart, Sweet Cheeks. Don't blame me for that."  
Kate turned her gaze away. For a moment she didn't look at him, for a moment she didn't answer him. What could she say? That she thought every word? That she loved him? She just said that to wake him up… She shook her head. Who was she fooling? She looked down at him. He was pale, looking tired, his eyes were half closed like his head was hurting. She bent over and put a kiss on his forehead.  
"Thank you."  
"What for?"  
She shrugged and lie down next to him, resting her head over his chest and put her right hand on his heart.  
"Freckles?"  
"Just shut up, James."


End file.
